The Potemayo Diaries
by breadsticks
Summary: It was a psychotic blob, territorial and cute. And it had latched onto Tsuna. 1827. AU.


Disclaimer: Not mine.

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Day 1

The blob hit his face and then clutched his bangs.

It wriggled on his face.

Tsuna held his glass and the door of the fridge in the other hand as he stood in front of the said appliance. There was an ominous silence in the kitchen as his mother regarded the…_thing _on his face. It rumbled then opened a very large mouth and bit onto Tsuna's bangs.

Saliva and blood dripped down Tsuna's cheeks.

His mother dropped her chopsticks and they clattered to the floor.

Something grumbled.

Tsuna set the glass down on a counter and gently pried the strange object off his face. It unhinged its jaw and allowed Tsuna to grasp it by its…globules of fat…

Correction, it was two blobs connected to each other featuring four stumps on its corners. It blinked large slitted blue eyes at him. It wore a white…well the proper word was boxers…although fluffy diapers would probably fit it better…and it proudly displayed a tiny gakuran jacket between both…blobs. It bared its very sharp teeth at him and then its stomach rumbled. Oh, so that's what the sound was.

He and his mother stared at it.

"WHAT IS IT?" Tsuna screamed.

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"So you found him in your frigerator?" asked Yamamoto looking at the object on Tsuna's head with wonder.

Gokudera scoffed. "Idiot, it's fridgerator," then he turned to Tsuna doing a complete personality reversal, "So, Tsuna-san! What do you call it exactly?"

Tsuna tried scratching his head then found a waiting mouth, "YEOOWCH—Well, I usually just call it fridge."

Both his friends looked at him blankly then said in tandem, "No, we mean, you know," they pointed and waved at _it_ on his head, "—that thing."

"Oh. Well, there was a small skylark stitched on the bottom flap of its…boxers. So me and mom called it, or him, Hibari. After that, I gave him some milk since he was hungry." He didn't add that the horrible…thing/animal/_whatever_ had also eaten his breakfast, his socks, and then his fingers. His mother delightfully called it, mochi-mochi. She said it was because it was soft and bouncy, like a blob of mochi rice.

"Yo-oh, Tsuna!" One of the upperclassman that Tsuna knew, Dino, came into their classroom and greeted his younger friend.

Hibari stood up on its four limbs and started growling at the blond.

Dino stopped. "Aw, Tsuna! Your pet—"

"Er, Dino-san, don't—" Tsuna started.

And then Hibari flew at the word _pet_, bypassing both Gokudera and Yamamoto's (horrified) outstretched hands, and pounced on Dino, repeatedly bashing his own head against the man's forehead.

Screams of terror resounded from their classmates.

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Tsuna got scolded for bringing a rabid glob to school and later on, apologized to the heavily bandaged Dino for any inconveniences Hibari caused him and asked if he could do anything, _anything _at all for recompensation (please, PLEASE don't make charges against me, Dino-sempai!).

Dino playfully replied if Tsuna-chan could be his personal nurse during his recovery—

Then Hibari growled.

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Day 2

The alarm bell rang loud remonstrations to the brunet on the bed.

It got smashed by a tonfa wielded by the mochi ball previously sleeping on the brunet's face.

The room was silent again as both boy and Hibari went back to sleeping.

With the occasional whimper from Tsuna, obviously sensing some danger nearby.

But Hibari ignored it.

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Tsuna blinked and found half of his vision gone. There was something heavy on his face…He lifted his hand and found another waiting mouth to chomp down on bandaged fingers. Wincing but quickly lifting Hibari off of him, he checked the clock.

Which had become a pile of ruined cogs and wheels and…was that a spring?

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"Ri, ri, ri." Hibari fluffed Tsuna's hair. He pushed the sides in a circle around him. Then he molded a bigger part of the wall. Then he laid his head on it and began snoring on his Tsuna's-hair-nest. "Riii~."

Around Tsuna's appalled and humiliated and terror-struck form, his classmates wore varying expressions of fear, laughter, nervousness and fangirlism. And Horror. Especially the horror.

Their teacher who had tried to remove the puff ball from Tsuna's head now lay in a bloody mess in front of the classroom.

Somebody coughed and quietly whispered if they should call 911.

Hibari growled at the noise.

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Tsuna pedaled faster, trying to run away from the memories of the disastrous school day. While it had been relaxing in a no-teacher-today kind of way, it had also been nerve-wracking in a the-teacher-is-DYING-in-front-of-me kind of way.

He heard grumbling from the top of his head.

He slowed down and stopped next to a small grocery store.

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Tsuna sat down on the steps leading up to the empty park. He set down Hibari who stared at him with his usual sneer. Then Tsuna took out the packet of chocolate chip cookies and the bottle of milk. At which point, Hibari's eyes widened and his nostrils widened, sniffing. He held out expectant arms, demandingly.

Tsuna tried not to cry in frustration. "Y-you're so not cute."

Hibari ate all the cookies.

Then drank all the milk.

Of which Tsuna had paid out from his measly weekly allowance. No lunch tomorrow, eh Tsuna?

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Day 3

There were no classes today so it was okay to oversleep. Even with the mochi ball on Tsuna's head.

Until Tsuna realized Hibari had peed on his hair.

His mom had gone out for the day with her friends so Tsuna had to laundry the bed sheets on his own. After taking a shower, of course. While folding the stained cloth into a manageable pile, he saw from the corner of his eye, Hibari sulking at the doorway. Tsuna tried to smile reassuringly at him. Mom would never know.

Hibari looked shocked then glared then disappeared.

Tsuna sighed.

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Tsuna woke up from dozing next to the laundry machine.

To find that the whole living room was swimming in bags and bags of bed sheets.

_Stolen _bed sheets.

After heavily apologizing (again) to the policeman and the irritated saleslady, he closed the door of the house and was very very happy that mom wouldn't be coming home until later that evening. She would never see the police cars nor the bags and bags of bed sheets carted off their house.

That night, he scolded Hibari about stealing. Because stealing was very wrong.

That night, Hibari did not come into his room to sleep on his head.

Tsuna didn't sleep at all.

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Day 4

Tsuna was early to school (because he didn't sleep, remember?) that day.

He was distracted through his classes and his (new) teacher scolded him too, several times in fact.

He didn't eat lunch, even though Gokudera offered his whole bento box (definitely NOT from his sister) and even though Yamamoto tried to pass over to Tsuna his extra riceball. Which also had spicy tuna. SPICY tuna. The baseball player waved it under the brunet's nose for several minutes. Whereupon he was attacked by Gokudera for daring to come within Tsuna's personal bubble space.

"No, Yamamoto, I really don't want to eat today."

Where was Hibari?

Did he get into trouble? Did he get lost? What if a strange person picked him up and decided to do weird experiments to him? What if the NASA people got their hands on him—

Tsuna opened his bedroom door to find Hibari sitting imperiously on his desk. Next to a bucket.

Of fish. Fish—es.

Apparently, the mochi had gone out fishing.

They had fish for dinner that night. And Tsuna ate a lot.

"Hibari…P-please eat your vegetables." Tsuna pointed at the green leafy salad in a bowl next to the munching Hibari.

Who scowled at the brunet.

But then picked up the bowl and ate it. With the bowl. Into his mouth.

Through it all, Nana beamed. Her Tsuna was growing up to be a wonderful mom.

Once again, Hibari came into his room and clambered on the pretend-to-be-sleeping Tsuna's face and settled in for the night.

Only then did Tsuna fall asleep.


End file.
